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Pregnant on Prozac

September 3, 2013

We’re replaced our subject’s normally screwed up brain chemistry with pregnancy hormones!  Let’s see how long it takes her to burst into tears!

There are all these sites online that talk about pregnancy and depression.  “It’s perfectly normal,” they assume me.  “It’s just the hormones!”

All of those sites assume that the depression is caused by the pregnancy.  Which is all well and good for women whose brains functioned at something passing for normal to start with.  But I have yet to find a site to help me deal with the depression I came into this pregnancy with.

The nausea, at least, seems to be passing.  Either we have finally worked out the appropriate feeding times to keep my stomach happy, or I’m just finally past that phase.  Whichever it may be, I am grateful.  Now, however, I seem to be moving into the Randomly Crying phase.  The suddenly overwhelming urge to cry is something I’m used to and have managed to control over the years.  I have my coping mechanisms and they do me just fine, thanks.  Or rather, they did.

I’m finding it hard to tell the difference between Pregnancy Random Urge to Cry and Depression Random Urge to Cry.  I’m honestly not sure if there’s a difference, but it has become harder to cope with that urge, no matter which one might be causing it.  I recognize that I’m probably not always going to be able to rein in the wonky brain chemistry, but it would be nice to know that this is normal, for my particular framework of “normal.”

In the meantime, I’ve had a chance to talk to the various providers about the pills I was on and got a green light on the Prozac.  Sadly, the pill that helps me sleep is a no-go.  So my dreams are back to being insane, vivid, and constant.  Naturally, this resulted in a nightmare last night.  I think it’s the first one I’ve had in a long time.  At least, the first I’ve woken up Moose with in a long time.  I do not miss them, let me tell ya.

On the plus side, I’m told that I won’t get much rest after the baby is born anyway, so maybe I will be able to sleep deeper without the pills.  Or at the very least, the screaming I wake up to won’t be my own.  🙂

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