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Some Small Life Rules

November 14, 2008

At faire, there is an age old rule that all women learn to follow, sooner or later. It is “Boots Before Bodice.” For all of y’all who have never had to strap into a binding piece of clothing (or known someone who has), let me explain. When you have a half dozen or more steel bones running down your torso, it’s really hard to bend over. Sure, you can bend from the hips, but if you can’t touch your toes on a normal day, it is *really* hard to do it in a bodice. And if you can’t get anywhere near your toes, it’s gonna be an interesting experience getting your shoes on. So. You learn very quickly that it goes “Undies and other garments therein, socks, pants if ya got ’em, shirt/shift/chemise, SHOES, bodice/gown, belt with all yer crap hanging from it, jewelry.” Naturally, the shirt can go on whenever, so long as it goes on under said bodice. And if you’re wearing wrap pants, it is fully possible to put them on after your shoes. But generally, that’s how it goes.

Incidentally, I have learned that if my wardrobe for the day includes “9 linear feet of bells around my hips” that putting them on before my belt is not required, but sure as hell makes things easier. The morning ritual of putting on those bells has become known as “playing Spin the Gypsy.” I walk up, hand some poor sucker the end of the bells, and spin myself into them. It goes a lot easier that way.

I told you all of that because I have a new rule. It is “Protein Prior to Pills.”

I think this is why people liking reading my journal so much. It wouldn’t have been nearly as interesting if I had just said “I feel queasy because I was dumb and forgot to eat my yogurt before taking my pills.”

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