Skip to content

Origins Lurv Letters

July 1, 2008

Lurv Letters from Origins

Dear Sir,
  Your child is currently fondling a very expensive piece of jewelry.  I am trying to discourage her because, well, it’s VERY EXPENSIVE.  I know that you promised to buy her “anything necklace she wanted” but I doubt that you had the $175 rosary in mind when you said that.  Don’t snap at me for directing your child to something a little more age appropriate until you’ve had a chance to actually look at the price tag.

Lurv,
  Squirrel

Dear Shoppers,
  Yes, the jewelry very pretty.  Yes, it is also expensive.  But it’s hand made of quality materials.  I am not Wal-mart, and my jewelry is not made in sweat shops by little children.  The only slave labor here is me.  If you want quality, you are going to have to pay for it.  If you want cheap costume jewelry, I will cheerfully point out the vendor down the way who will gladly sell it to you.  Check out her hand made costuming while you’re there.  It’s expensive, too.  Noticing a pattern yet?

No Lurv,
  Squirrel

Dear Ma’am,
  Your child is manhandling the necklaces.  It is obvious that he is only doing it because they make a cool noise when they slap against the display.  Please rein in your brat or go away.  Preferably both.  Just be grateful that he didn’t start at the far end, when the giant glass leaf would made a much cooler noise as it shattered and broke.  Whereupon the noises you would have made as I insisted on payment for said giant glass leaf would have surely been highly entertaining.

No Lurv,
  Squirrel

Dear Asshole,
  Yes, there’s “just jewelry” on this end of the booth.  There’s also a fuckton of other stuff on the OTHER side of the booth.  Which you would know, if you’d bother to actually look.  And that “just jewelry” is all handmade, thank you very much.  Just because YOU don’t have anyone in your life to give something pretty to doesn’t make it worthless.

No Lurv,
  Squirrel

Dear Late Comers,
  Yes, we do custom orders here.  Yes, they’re super spiffy, and it is totally awesome that you can get them at the convention.  No, you can’t walk up to the booth two hours before the end of the convention and expect to order something.  You know when we told you two days ago that it was taking about 3 hours to get stuff done?  More people have come in since then.  They ALSO think that this stuff is super spiffy and totally awesome.  And THEY put in  their orders BEFORE you.  G’way so I can pack.

No Lurv,
  Squirrel

Advertisements
No comments yet

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: