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Ren Faire Funnies

October 31, 2007

Ren Faire funny!  Probably not exactly as it’s written here, but damn close.

So, one of my hawking bits is to stand on a stump in front of our wagons, and yell down the lane at people.  This is not only entertaining for the patrons walking around nearby, but for the shop keepers as well.  I expect that someday I’m going to wind up YouTube for my trick of drawing out the phrase “fortune telling” for as long as possible, as I’ve seen several people obviously filming me doing this.  One of the people swore I held it out for 17 seconds, but I think he was probably exaggerating.  And for those of you who think 17 seconds doesn’t sound like a whole lot, try doing it in a corset.  Anyways.

Me, yelling down the lane:  Fortune telling!
Drunk Guy:  How much for the fortune teller?
Me:  I’m much too expensive for you, sir.
DG:  I bet if I got a few beers into you, you’d change your mind.
Me:  There is not enough beer in this world, sir.
Keith:  He probably would have done better to keep his mouth shut.

And one from school days:

Me (to another guy):  Sorry, darling, you’re not my type.
Obnoxious Rat:  I bet I’m your type.
Me:  Nope.  You’re jailbait.

As we say in the family:  Sarcasm and insults are free.  Fortunes cost money.

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