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Quick Movie Reviews

January 20, 2007

Ice Age 2: The Meltdown

This movie, despite the PG rating, is really more PG-13.  As in “Wait…  Did they just?  They totally did!  In a kids movie!”  Cussing, double entendre that’s really more of a single entendre with a half twist and a back flip, and death.  Not “mean ol’ bad guys death” like most animations.  Not even “plot forwarding death that you don’t really see” like in the first movie.  Nope.  Actual death for an actual cute and fluffy character that you get to spend time knowing and loving.  Not much time, admittedly, but still.  Time.  And while there were plenty of bad puns, cute critters, and stupid stunts, it just wasn’t as funny as the first one.  It’s the kind of movie that you get because you need something different for your kids to demand to watch over and over, and then you pray that they won’t understand most of the jokes for another few years.

Inside Man

Jess and I spent most of this movie going “Oh!  They’re doing that because of…  No, wait.  Oh!  That’s so cool.”  And it was indeed intensely cool.  It even had an awesome plot twist to the end, though I could have done with about 10 minutes less of “the end.”  If you like heist movies with good twist plots, this is certainly worth picking up.

Being John Malkovich

Surreal.  Lots of fun, and definitely not what you would expect from… Well, anyone in this movie.  It took Jess and I several minutes to realize that the wife was Cameron Diaz.  She just looks so different.  And as promised, I got my desired resolution to the typical love triangle problem.  Your head will hurt after watching it, but it’ll be worth it.

Kaena: The Prophecy

Made almost entirely with computer generated animation, this movie looks like it was put together from the cut scenes of a really awesome video game.  In fact, I spent most of the movie thinking “Hey!  This would be a really great time for a dungeon crawl.  Ooo!  It’s the boss monster!  Cue pointless level up!”  Sadly, since there wasn’t a whole lot of pointing and shooting to do between the plot forwarding elements, it wasn’t terribly good.  Even the pointless leveling up was exactly that.  Pointless.  The main character’s outfit was equally as pointless.  Apparently her tribe ran out of material when they got around to passing out her clothes.  Her armor wasn’t much better.  Cut outs in armor that expose the soft and fleshy bits are really sexy, but do not make for very good armor.  She looked exactly like the kind of character that a teenage guy would enjoy watching run around a third person perspective game.  To top off this train wreak, the developers apparently decided to save a little money in certain bits by cutting in some lower quality animation, in the hopes that it would a) save money and b) go unnoticed.  It just added to my impression that I was watching a video game.  One that was lagging about as badly as the plot.

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