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Houston Asthma Walk: Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut

March 30, 2005

Guys have contests where they talk about how much work they’ve done to their cars, or how tricked out their computer is, or how many points they scored at a game.  Girls, for the most part, talk about how crazy their mothers are.  Inevitably, I win.

Recently, I’ve come to understand this story better in light of the fact that it occurred not long after I had been put in the hospital.  Apparently she was worried that I might have had an asthma attack and driven off into a ditch somewhere.  Which doesn’t make the story any less crazy, but at least I understand now why she was so worried.  Mums always finds some reason to worry about my asthma.

Now, in order to understand this story, you have to know this.  It ends with “I didn’t want to wake you.”

One Spring Break, the last one of my college career, I discovered that all of my roommates would be out of town.  The organization I’m in had decided to hold an event on Friday night and I volunteered my place as the site for the after party.  My chapter was hosting the event and thus we were an integral part of having the event come off well.  Attendance was good and everyone piled into my apartment for a party that lasted until 4 in the morning.  People eventually left, those who couldn’t leave under their own power crashed out on the couch and the floor, and I crawled into bed.

At 10 am, I woke up and went out to the living room.  One of the two guys on the couch rolled over and mumbled something.  “Squirrel.  I think you need to call your mom.  She’s been calling all morning and she sounds worried.”

I had been planning to go home that night to see them and work over Spring Break with my mom.  I thought she might be calling to see when I was coming home, but couldn’t figure out why she would be so frantic.  I called up, not sure what kind of reception I was going to get.  Keep in mind through this whole thing, that my mother is very upset.

“Hey Mom, what’s up?”

“Why didn’t you come home last night?  I thought you were DEAD in a DITCH,” she wailed.

“What?  Mom, I told you I was coming home tonight, not last night.”

“I made DINNER, and you weren’t here, and I stayed up until 11 AT NIGHT worried sick about you.”

“Mom.  I had a game last night.  The party was at my place.  Why would I tell you I was coming home on Friday?”

“I don’t KNOW.  But I made DINNER and WHY would I have made DINNER if I didn’t think you were coming home last night?  I was so WORRIED.”

“Mom.  I told you I was coming home on Saturday.  Why didn’t you just call?”

“I tried calling your cellphone this morning, and the house, and YOU need to keep your cellphone on if you’re not going to be home.”

“I was home, Mom.  The cellphone is off because it’s charging and I’m at home.  Why didn’t you call last night?  We were up until 4 am.”

“I stayed up until 11 AT NIGHT and YOU need to keep your cellphone on.  I was so WORRIED…”

“MOM.  Why.  Didn’t.  You.  Call.  Last.  Night.”


“Well…  I didn’t want to wake you.”

“You thought I was dead in a ditch….  and you didn’t want to wake me.”


“I’ll be home tonight, Mom.  Good bye.”

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